This is a lesson I learned from a book that I can’t wait to discuss separately. It’s all about happiness, and this part deserves to be discussed in detail.
Problems are a part of life; they never go away and sometimes they even come in more harsh ways.
For instance, when you buy the dress you’ve always wanted, you solve this problem or wish whatever you say, and then you have new problems, like having to buy heels, find a good hairstyle, look good, match the makeup, etc.
Another example: After you and your girlfriend work out your issues regarding not giving her enough time and agreeing to meet every Wednesday, you’ve solved one problem, but you’ve now got more to solve: finding a suitable place and worrying constantly about whether your girlfriend will going to like it of the place you choose while also becoming nervous that she won’t like it, etc.
Therefore, in order to be happy, you must solve your problems because problems never go away—they just get upgraded. If you think you can avoid solving your problems, you are choosing to make your situation worse.
Even if you believe you have unsolvable problems, you will still end up miserable, so again, the key to happiness is to solve your problems rather than to live a life without any problems.
Now that you are aware that you must find solutions to your problems, the question is how to do it. It won’t happen quickly, so don’t expect that watching a tonne of videos will make you happy.
You must work every day because the problem you solve today will help you solve the problem tomorrow; it’s kind of like you are building a strong foundation.
But, but, but if you ignore your problem today, you will have a difficult time tomorrow.
Thus, instead of stressing yourself out, find the problems you enjoy solving and, even if you do not love them, start enjoying them. Accept that problems never end.
Certain problems are simple, like eating well and dressing nicely, but other times they are more difficult, like rebuilding your connection with your parents or having to apologize to a friend, etc.
If you don’t find solutions, the problem will worsen.
You cause your own problems in one of two ways:
Denial reality:
You ignore your problems, believing that they will go away because doing so would make you feel good. However, over time, your problems will come back and give you a huge surprise that you will be unable to ignore. As a result, you will begin to feel terrible because you believed that ignoring your problems would make them go.
Crying baby:
You constantly believe that nothing is within your control and that it is not your fault. You play the victim role, refuse to accept responsibility for your mistake, and the more you blame others, the worse off you get because your problem will never go away despite your belief that it will. Instead, it will continue to disturb you slowly over time.
You use alcohol, partying, a vacation, etc. to get away from your problems.
Because happiness requires struggle. It grows from problems.
Many people want to succeed, but they are afraid of taking risks. If you are not willing to take risks, you shouldn’t expect to succeed.
If you desire success and happiness, you need to start appreciating the risks.
What determines your success isn’t, “What do you want to enjoy?” The
relevant question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?” The path to
happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.
It is a call to action for you to take action when you experience negative or sad feelings.
Five things to remember:
Hence don’t run away from your problems.
Accept the problems.
Fix the problems.
Find enjoyment in finding the solution.
Hope for good problems.
Thank you!
