10 lessons from THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FU*K

This is sickness:

Remember not to take anything personally. We all have a limited amount of time on earth, so prioritize your thoughts and your work. Some people may have said something hurtful to you; it has nothing to do with you. However, if you start taking everything personally, this is a sickness.

Why did she or he tell me this, or why did they do this to me? Oh my gosh, this is the best way to make you feel sick. Look, if you focus on every small issue in your life, it will consume you.

Try not to view anything as unfair, every obstacle as a test of character, and every argument as a betrayal or a sign of disrespect.

We all are living an abnormal life:

Our lives are abnormal because we are so obsessed with the lives of influencers, celebrities, and business owners that we mistakenly think this is how life is meant to be.

We think that achieving perfection will make us feel worthy of love and respect, but the reality is that imperfection exists in all aspects of life. As the author points out, even the most successful people have problems in their personal lives, and most athletes are unaware of academic matters.

This is the way things really are, and we should accept it. The easiest way to become depressed is to strive to be perfect in everything. Try one item and focus solely on improving it.

Same people, different memories but the truth is we are the ones who are making it:

Although we all know that we should trust ourselves more, the author tells us that we shouldn’t assume that we are always correct. To begin, let the author give us an example. The same people may have different memories, but the truth is that we are the ones making it.

Have you ever played that game called Wishper? You’ve all probably played the game where you have to whisper something in someone else’s ear and they have to guess it. However, at the conclusion of the game, the word and its meaning change.

That’s how our mind works if we believe something to be true then our minds create evidence to support our beliefs even when it is false. Our minds force us to believe things, so resist the urge to accept everything as true and don’t have complete faith in yourselves.

For example, if a close friend did something horrible to you, you may begin to recall all of the events and conclude that everything was false when, in fact, it wasn’t. You are only causing yourself to feel down and unhappy by fully believing in yourself and your thoughts.

Technology is making you depressed:

Yes, it has solved a lot of problems, but it has also made mental health issues worse. Everyone believes that they must become extraordinary to be worthy, but this is completely false because not everyone needs to become extraordinary. If you accept that becoming extraordinary is the only way to survive and grow, you are telling yourself that you are unworthy and that you are destroying your own life.

We live in a world full of information that is easily distracting, and even though we don’t know the lives of celebrities, we still focus our attention on them in an attempt to become like them.

And we are simply wasting our time, therefore attempt to concentrate on genuine improvement rather than only displaying or competing with others.

Create good values:

Create good values by understanding that there are things you can control and things that you cannot. This includes both good and bad values; good values are those that you have control over, while bad values are uncontrollable. Good values are grounded in reality, while bad values are uncontrollable and fake.

Good values, for instance, include being truthful, speaking for yourself, being creative, being human, being kind, loving nature, and forgiving others.
To live a good life, you must have excellent values. Examples of negative values are being frustrated all the time, not willing to listen to others, wanting to feel good all the time, needing attention constantly, and wanting to be loved by everyone.

Additionally, if you appreciate good values, you are concentrating on yourself and what makes sense in reality; on the other hand, if you value bad values, you are depressing yourself because you can never control these things and must always rely on other people to make you feel good.

Force vs choosing:

The most brilliant part of this book is the definition of “force vs. choosing.” Put simply and clearly, it states that you should choose to follow certain habits or work habits freely rather than being forced to.

For instance, if your parents force you to study, you will find it difficult to concentrate and study, but if you reverse the action, you are studying without force because you are choosing to study because you have your own goals that require you to study, and that’s why it’s so easy to focus. and to finish your task. Since developing a habit is difficult, you may be wondering how to do it. Just state what you want clearly.

Even if it’s difficult to concentrate or to create, if you have a goal in mind, it will be easier to continue. That’s how power is gained; if it’s forced upon you, you feel helpless and victimized.

You are responsible for your own happiness:

Were you deceived? You have been hurt by someone? Even so, you are still accountable for your own happiness because, although you can hold someone else responsible for the worst things that have happened to you, you cannot hold them accountable for your happiness; that is not their job.

Instead, you must take responsibility for your own happiness and fix yourself; after all, they are free to live their own life and do as they please. By the time you begin to fix yourself, you will likely discover that you have made mistakes as well, according to the Author. You just simply aren’t aware of it.

Use failure as motivation:

The more times you fail, the more successful you will become; if someone is more successful than you, then they have undoubtedly failed more times than you; all small setbacks are the foundation for success; your success is determined by the number of failures you have experienced. The author claims that if a child fails 100 times at walking, they will never give up and learn to walk later.

Avoiding failure is something we learn at some later point in life.

Commitment is essential for progress:

The author explains that when you commit to one person or one job, you become free because you aren’t choosing to divert your attention to needless activities.

Of course, you have to try new things to grow, but in order to grow personally and professionally, you must give some time to it.

Only then can your business and relationships flourish. Avoid running from one person to another; while this may temporarily make your life more exciting, you will ultimately come away empty-handed and with more depression.

Give your time to only one person instead, and work to strengthen that bond since you can only achieve this by being committed to just one person. By doing this, you are able to focus on what is necessary and free yourself from unnecessary distractions.

Death is important:

Because it is the only thing that is completely true. People are unaware of death and don’t think about it because they find it disturbing. However, the author argues that if we do something greater than ourselves and live fully, shame-free, and without hesitation, then we won’t be afraid of death and can even use it to our advantage to live fully.

If you focus on death, you will only learn what’s important in life and pay attention to what matters to you.

If you have made death your primary focus, this will make your life easier. You may face your fears and complete the work at hand since, in the end, everyone will die; therefore, it is foolish to deny the reality of death.

You can click here if you want to read a chapter summary of this book.

Thank you!

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